Ditzkrieg

OMG! I saw him again. And I wasn't ready, damn him!

Shit naman o. Eight-plus hours in a working day and he had to see me at a wa-poise moment. Why oh why did we have to bump into each other at a time I'm ngarag and all frazzled from OT work? When the elevator doors opened and we had an Inday Badiday moment (read: eye-to-eye), I didn't know what hit me. I just knew I wasn't pulling the smooth operator act. I was slouching, dammit! I couldn't friggin' stand straight. I had to lean on the side of the elevator and couldn't look anywhere except either down at the ground or up at the LCD display showing the floors we were passing as the lift descended to the building lobby. When it came to a stop, I couldn't get out of the thing fast enough. Good Lord, I almost knocked over an elderly executive type who was halfway through the door in front of me! (Totally sorry, mister! In the unlikely event that you read this anyway.)

And never have I felt like I wanted to sink to the floor while crossing the lobby to get to the nearest convenience store. He was with a couple of female co-workers, one of whom even sorta smirked at one point--to herself, WTF! was she smirking at me??--during a lull in their conversation in the elevator. Yes, I caught that in the reflection on the shiny walls of the lift, all right. But he was NR (no reaction), and had the weary look of a regular OT junkie.

Lordy, have you ever felt like all eyes were on you, and not in a good way? His eyes especially, I swear to God. How could he not, what with that weird enough walk that I've always had, which I'm sure must have looked even more awkward when I was trying to make my getaway (and on 3.5-inch heels, no less). Ditzville moment but I felt my heart beating out of my chest like in the B movies. You know when something stupid happens and you go, "This is so not happening!?@!?" and you swear to God you feel like you could faint right then and there but the tragedy is that you don't? That's how it was.

Dang but I absolutely hate him, hate him! My goodness, I've never felt this stupid before. Not even when Yummy 1 caught me and my cousin openly gawking at him with a look of dopey (I'm sure) wonderment plastered on our faces at Glorietta 4. This was ten times worse. Doggone it, I wanted the earth to just gobble me up whole, face first. I felt I couldn't walk at all! How utterly, utterly stupid is that? (Plus, now I'm reduced to going on and on about it spouting "stupid" as the only way to describe the whole ordeal.)

This is weird. Honestly, this has never happened to me. I swear to God. Never. But I'm not jumping to conclusions. This is unacceptable. I never saw this coming.

Someone please do me a mean roundhouse, right on the noggin, like right now!