Happy Guilt Trip!

Which would be more excruciating:

To want what you cannot have?

Or to want what you want, which you can have but know you don't really need and would probably be better off not having (which then makes you want it even more)?

Gaaah! Why oh why did the concept of want ever have to come to being anyway? As if that wasn't enough to give you a minor heartburn, there's freedom of choice waving in your face the proverbial noose with which to hang yourself. Ack. This indecisive war between the id and superego, between desire and responsibility, is killing you. You're positively writhing inside. And it's all your own doing.

***

But it's great, you think, that you're made to come to terms with such things. Through the distress of contemplating battles with the self comes the Trojan Horse of a boon, a welcome respite reminding you of what you have and have had.


You have had the time of your life. Whatever's gone down in the past so far, you know this much remains true. And for this, you will always be grateful.

And yet you sit there nursing your designer coffee, whining about how the past is getting old, and clamoring for más y más.


Maybe that's the beauty of experience. Maybe it's human nature to want more than what you have in your hands. Others are not so lucky. A few will probably never be.

And really, you have to admit that sometimes, you don't even deserve it. At least not all of it. Maybe not all in one big go.

But dammit, you want it. You want it. Heaven help you. You just don't know how bad you got it.

Then again, maybe you shouldn't try to find out...


Happy April Fools', everyone.